Confidence is something that everyone wants and a lot of us will do anything to get it even if it's bad for us or not for our highest good. But sometimes we are attracted to a path to take that we haven't before. We may understand our reasons in the beginning and then discover as we progress that there were all kinds of things that we were attracted to but didn't know we were. The process of taking part in it brings us up front and center to what it's all about and the process brings us up front and center to ourselves.
Being attracted to an art form particularly dance has magic. When we first see it something inside speaks without speaking. Our body wisdom wakes up when we see a dance form that we are attracted to as if there was a deep part of us that remembers something we have never known. And we become drawn in wanting to explore and remember more. It is this deep connection to dance that keeps us coming back again and again.
But sometimes confidence wanes and we want to pull back and sometimes do. It's about more than image in this case. It sometimes and often is. But besides issues with image many people feel very disconnected to their own bodies and to the earth. We have learned to stop listening as a way to over come the difficulty of being in the human body. And because we have grown a culture around this we forget that our bodies have natural rhythms. Our bodies understand rhythm from in utero inherently through and through. The earth has vibrations that we do not tune into as much. Air and water is the easiest for us to understand or fire. But because earth is seemingly solid like the body we forget that there are vibrations, rhythms, tones and music going on all the time. Our breath and our hearts have rhythms, a tone, and a music, a harmony that changes according to our emotions, age and health. All of our organs have vibrations. Because this is our daily existence of being it easily becomes background noise that we simply don't hear. We are taught to believe that there are better and higher mysteries than the human body to listen to and discover.
And then when we find ourselves attracted to a dance form the attraction embodies our understanding that we are already one with this dance. Then we take a class and we have hope still but are brought face to face with the disconnection that we commonly feel from our bodies and music. And we forget that all of this is about connection to the the earth. That the wisdom of the earth of therefore of the body is already there. All we need to do is remember, listen and allow.
When we do this the thinking brain is still operating but it's working in tandem with a part of us that is much older. Dance is one of the few places where people can access this state of being. And when we can allow ourselves to experience this we find that we are surprised by what unfolds and moves through us. We are also amazed at how easily and without force that we were able to manifest a dance. In this state of being we make discoveries and feel as if we are being danced rather than trying to exert a formula. Formulas are great for exploration too. It's simply another way to explore dance. But without discovering this state of being in dance it's common to fall into second guessing, doubt, never feeling like enough or not ready and even feeling like a fraud.
We use our eyes more in this culture than our ears and we commonly fall back onto our eyes to learn how to dance rather than our ears, the subtle sensations in our feet and our core, throughout our bodies. Over time the messages we hear and feel from our bodies won't be so subtle. The more we can bring ourselves into our own bodies rather than running away, wishing that our bodies were something else the better. The more that we can trust and believe that we ourselves understand something inherently such as dance and that we only need help remembering the more we make gigantic leaps ahead in dancing.
When we dance we develop a stronger relationship not just with ourselves but with the space around us and the earth under our feet. For a culture that wants people to withdraw from their bodies yet somehow have perfect bodies at the same time it's not easy to be present and aware. To take up full residence in body , mind, spirit, earth and space is radical. To trust yourself enough to do this is radical and rebellious because a person who listens and is connected to themselves, the earth and their space is not easily controlled by institutions or ideas which seek to harm. The body that listens knows what is good and healthy and knows what is toxic. No matter how disconnected a person is that wisdom is still there. The body opens in it's physical gestures and posture when it feels safe and attracted to something and the body speaks when it feels threatened by closing off in either subtle or obtuse cues.
Even if we have illnesses we need to build a solid relationship with our bodies everyday. It's harder to when we have pain and suffer because we feel that our bodies have turned against us. But even in illness the body is speaking and asking us to listen to it's wisdom and most of the time if we do not listen our body finds ways to speak louder. As women we tend to develop a conflicted relationship with ourselves which fluctuates between nurturing and listening, doing what our bodies needs and being angry at our bodies for getting in the way of life and muscling through anyway. All women I am sure have experienced this during their cycle every month because the culture does not designate this time for women as being special. It should be a time when the woman does what ever she wants. A time for reflection, rest, anything she enjoys and anything that relaxes her and makes her happy, When it's all about her voice and her guiding vision.
I have found at different times that when I was not able to take time to do what my body demanded during my cycle that after my cycle was finished I was relieved but not as refreshed. Instead I would feel depleted. I even found my immune system was worse after a period where I did not take time to do "whatever I want". However this isn't the case if there are far worse things going on which are causing extra pain during menstruation. Sometimes it is from too much stress and not listening enough to make changes at other times during the month. But sometimes it's just a mystery that everyone likes to tell us they understand.
We are told that all we have to do is eat more greens, avoid alcohol and caffeine etc. We're told to avoid chocolate and then suddenly we have articles telling us "it's ok" to eat chocolate during our cycle to make us "happy". Why do we need articles to tell us what we need during our monthly? I'm sure if your like me you've tried what they've said and it's either made no difference or made it worse! There is probably countless antidotes of women's bodily wisdom that has not been handed down for centuries and that we are unable to tap into. I'm sure it's there. Every time my cycle comes around I am listening. But it's very hard to keep listening when parts of me are trying to just push ahead and do what I normally do because by the regular standards it's what I should be doing.
And this is the way it is with dance too in our culture. Even experienced and seasoned dancers who have developed a strong connection to their bodies and how their dance and their bodies connect them to the earth experience hiccups along the way. Repeatedly we need to bring ourselves back to center and allow ourselves to experience being with ourselves without doubt. That inner process is a rhythm and even a dance all on it's own. Like the lotus we grow up towards the light and back into the mud. We open and we close. We explore and we withdraw. It's a natural push and pull motion of the universe that we are one with.
Ever notice how when our minds are all over the place, hectic, upset and anywhere but here we naturally feel it in our bodies a need to withdraw? We may push ourselves to stay open and to keep doing whatever it is but our bodies are still speaking. That is the bodies wisdom in action. To re group and center so that you can feel safe and strong enough to open and expand out into the world. Ever notice that when your mind and your body is centered you can more easily explore and move out into space? In this state our senses are alert and awake. We are able to listen. When we feel the need to contract the senses have subtly begone to not be as sharp so that all of the attention of the senses can focus inward to process and reflect. And ever notice that when you feel one with the earth for whatever reason that you feel something more than confident even. That you maybe even feel a deep state of grace. That an open sense of wonderment and optimism flows through you in the same way as it did when you were a child spending a lot of time in nature. Clear headed, strong, empowered, All simply by spending time in nature and by strengthening your awareness of the connection you have with nature through creative movement. Our bodies move like everything in nature and we see this a lot in Yoga, Pilates, Belly Dance, Tai Chi and more! And notice that when we feel a connection to the earth that our awareness becomes more opened up to the sky and all the space of the universe above and all around us? Commonly people feel this when they are standing in an open field. Even standing in a large open field in the middle of a city can create this experience.
Whatever the time of the month allow yourself to drop into your body and to experience all the ways that your body is in relationship to the earth. Listen to the music more and listen to how the music feels in your body and where. Feel how the vibrations and rhythms travel through your core, your limbs and into your feet, hands, neck and head. Feel your body as an extension of the earth and that the earth is an extension of you. I do have a pagan background so when I dance and when I speak, teach or dance the ideas and experiences within pagan spirituality inform and inspire my experience.
Women's Day was the other day but to me everyday is Women's Day! We need to treat it as such!
Remember that deep down your body, your heart, mind and soul knows more and is capable of doing more than you have imagined. Repeat to yourself when your getting in your own way " Allow. I allow."
You, the earth, the music and the dance are one.
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